Reader Question:

Me: 46 yrs . old, African-American male, specialist profession, resident, attractive, 20-year-old daughter. I date outside of my competition. I am in good shape.

It appears up to women want a loyal commitment, they don’t really like to invest in myself. I do have a “list” of attractive qualities — appealing, capable care for her finances, a social or nondrinker and an individual who is willing and capable travel and carry out acts.

Why is it difficult for women to make when I provide outward signs and symptoms of planning to be in a loyal relationship?

-Mark (California)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Solution:

Dear Mark,

Indeed, way too many ladies are acting like males (or how they THINK males act) and generally are avoiding commitment. Having said that, I will let you know there are a lot more ladies who wish a protected connection than perhaps not.

I am questioning the reasons why you may appear getting drawn to women who eliminate a solid relationship. Could this be your option in targets?

My tip is to try to communicate with ladies whom you will most likely not initially end up being interested in and discover in the event that you loosen up to them. Sometimes our very own failure locate a protected commitment relates to our very own fears of abandonment.

Quite simply, we selected partners exactly who can not get near to protect you from becoming “dangerously” close and risk abandonment.

Take to dating the kind of person you have never, previously outdated before. Go slow. And watch how you feel as you go along.

Do you really be effortlessly jealous, need manage her time or would you like to secure the deal too quickly? The trick is consist of your self and quell your fears.

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